How in the Hell do I get anything done????????

It is like deciphering babel. I walk into this madness and am some how able to make work. Of course this isn’t how I would like it to be. No I do not want it perfectly organized with everything labeled and in it’s place. That is not me. My creativity seems to feed on on a little chaos but…this is outrageous. None the less I spent three hours yesterday making and am very happy with the result. Well let me restate that as happy as I can be with an end result.

It is not so much that I am disorganized as that I am always rushing and because I can make art in the madness I feel less pressure to organize it than I do to make work. It just compounds it self. I move things around so I can work in one spot and then I make more insanity in the flurry on making. I find more things that I could use to make things with and they sit there waiting.

In order to accommodate everything I just keep piling half finished work in this back bit of the studio. I have a hard time finishing work. This has always been an issue for me but with limited time it becomes more so. I don’t really sketch or use a note book I just start making the things that are in my head. This leads to mounds of unfinished pieces waiting to see completion. I work very quickly and were I to have a few days of studio time the space would change drastically and some of this work would complete it self. For me art cannot finish in short chunks of time it can only begin that way. To finish I need hours of contemplation time. I am not sure which writer said it but I think it was Hemingway, “Write drunk edit sober”. I think this is my approach to my work in general. That is not to say I am always drunk when I am creating but I am certainly always inside a state of passion that reminds me of drunkenness because I tend not to think about the out come and just let the moment drive me. It is all fixable some day down the road. Polishing is slow tedious work requiring patience and serenity and I can only find that place when time is on my side.

These pieces have been hanging on my work wall 90 % done for almost two years. It is a sad state of affairs to go to the studio over and over again not able to finish something that burst from my head with such force that it made me crazy. The beginning is always so pleasurable and then the finish comes so slow that the pleasure is forgotten.